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Summing up the Republican National Convention so far

Someone would have to pay me a lot of money in order to sit through it. But I've skimmed my Twitter feed, which is full of people who were paid to sit through it, and I think I have a good idea of what was said. So as a public service to you, I give you the shorter and deconstructed overall message of the night:

Barack Obama is a bad president because he doesn't look like us and he is a Democrat. And most of the things we are claiming he has done to cover up those two reasons aren't true. If we happen to not lie and mention a problem, we are ignoring any effect we had in making that thing a problem.

In response to this great threat to our country and to the very idea of liberty, we are nominating a guy who has never in any way supported the same things Obama has. And just in case you know anything about Mitt Romney before 2008, we are nominating a VP who once voted to go to war (foreign policy experience: check) and who can put multiple numbers on a piece of paper and convince the Republicans in the House that said paper is a budget.